Play Together, Stay Together: A Beginner’s Guide to Couple’s Toys

Play Together, Stay Together: A Beginner’s Guide to Couple’s Toys

Myth: sex toys are only for solo play.

Fact: using toys with a partner can be sexy as hell.


In fact, a 2020 study by sexual wellness company Ella Paradis found that 61 percent of sex toy buyers are now buying their toys with couple’s play in mind


Still, the idea of introducing toys into your couple’s play remains an intimidating concept for many. How do you initiate the conversation? How do you decide which toys to use? And how do you introduce this third party without making your partner feel left out?


Luckily for you, this guide will break down some of the sexiest ways to get started with your toy- sharing – as well as some top tips for using them to maximise pleasure for all parties involved.

So – how exactly do you go about asking your partner to start using toys?


The answer: it may not be as hard, or as awkward, or as intimidating as it first seems.


The truth is, talking to your partner about introducing toys in the bedroom doesn’t have to be a big deal. You can start a conversation with something as simple as ‘I love exploring new things with you - would you be open to using a toy?’, or ‘I love how you make me feel - I’m intrigued by how I’d feel if we used a toy as well’.


You can even ensure that they feel involved by emphasizing this new exploration as a shared experience. Ask them what kind of toys they’d be open to playing with, if they have any toy-related fantasies, and make a date of it by shopping together.


If you’re in need of some guidance as to where exactly to begin with your shopping, a good place to start is the trusty, old reliable: the vibrator.

Myth: vibrators are only for vulvas.

Fact: vibrators are as multipurpose as sex toys can get. Though they’ve gained a reputation as the BFF of the clit, vibrators can be used to stimulate the vagina, the anus, the nipples, and multiple other erogenous zones such as the neck, wrists, and thighs. This makes them perfect for use by couples of all genders and sexualities. 


You could try using a vibrator on your partner during foreplay to prolong their anticipation, or during sex to explore sensations of multiple stimulation. The Amelie Palm Vibrator is perfect for this, as its flexible, tongue-like shape makes it ideal for stimulating all of your erogenous zones. 


DP fanatics might even opt for a rabbit vibrator such as the Isabella Thrusting Rabbit Vibrator to fully explore the potential pleasure of multiple penetration (is it just me, or is it suddenly very hot in here?).


Equally, if you’re particularly interested in exploring voyeurism or powerplay, you could watch your partner as they use their toy on themselves. You might use this time to carefully take note of what gives your partner pleasure so that you can replicate it later on. 


Or, if like 90% of people you get turned on by dirty talk, you could try giving your partner instructions for how to use their toy. Guided masturbation is actually an increasingly popular porn category for all genders, so you never know - you might even tap into one of their biggest, burgeoning fantasies.

Myth: Couple’s vibrators are only for penetrative sex.

Fact: Couple’s vibrators have so many functions. Admittedly, one of the main selling points of couple’s vibrators is their ability to enhance penetrative sex. Designed to be worn during penetration, the curved shape allows for a stimulation of both the clitoris and the G-spot through vibrations which can also be felt by your partner. 


This may seem intimidating at first, but the key to making couple’s vibrators work for you is finding one which doesn’t seem so scary. The Dorothea Remote Control Couple Vibrator, for example, showcases a small head texture design which allows for a comfortable and beginner-friendly experience that is definitely not to be feared.

However, don’t be fooled into thinking that couple’s vibrators are exclusively for penetrative sex! As long as you’re open to getting a little bit creative, they can actually be used in a myriad of other, equally steamy ways.


For example, the remote control nature of the Dorothea opens up a whole new world of kinky opportunities. Use during foreplay for ultimate levels of anticipation; explore all nine vibration frequencies (yes, nine!) to see which one your partner responds to best.


You could even ask your partner to take their toy out on date night and watch them squirm as you tease and edge them in public (FYI - the Dorothea has a noise level of less than 50DB. That’s even less than the buzz of a well-running refrigerator, so no need to worry about getting caught).


Did we mention it’s also waterproof? Shower, anyone?

With sex toys having become so commonplace in our erotic lives (a survey by Statista Research Department even found that 82% of adult, American women now own a sex toy), the increasing desire to share this pleasure with a partner makes total sense. And with the right research and guidance, it doesn’t have to feel so intimidating.


To get started with your couple’s sexploration now, shop all BON. products here.

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