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Twelve Days of Kinkmas

It’s time to unwrap.

In a 2021 survey by Relate.org, 70% of adults admitted that Christmas time placed an added pressure onto their relationships. Whether due to the stress of planning the perfect Christmas day, an increased involvement with family and friends, or anxiety caused by the expectation to get intimate, this added pressure is totally valid - but there are a few ways in which you might be able to relieve it.

 

At its core, kink exploration should not be something which causes worry or anxiety - it should be the exact opposite. Exploring new kinks and fetishes with your partner reinforces the importance of trust, communication, and respecting one another's boundaries, three values which can often get lost in the holiday season.

 

So, we’re breaking down the perfect guide to your 12 Days of Kinkmas, and giving you some advice on how to keep sex firmly positioned as fun, rather than an added stress.

 

Come on in and make yourself cozy - ‘tis the season of sexual intimacy, and we’re absolutely here for it.

Day 1: Naughty or Nice?

Christmas is literally a holiday based around behaving well and being rewarded for it - can you really blame the praise enthusiasts for wanting to bring this into the bedroom?

 

You can try implementing praise within your intimacy in a number of ways: you’ve been such a good girl; you’re doing so well; you’re so good for me. Consider the extra addition of a santa hat (or suit), and you’ve created a sexy scenario suitable for the season.

 

Alternatively, if you’ve been naughty this year, you might find this Christmas a perfect time to receive your punishment. Rather than sitting on Santa’s knee, you might experiment with laying across it, and letting Santa show you what a bad, bad girl you’ve been.

Day 2: Pull Up (or Down) Your Stockings

Particularly ideal for beginners and lovers fluent in gift-giving, you might want to kick off kinkmas with a sensual stocking exchange. Fill your partner’s stocking with inspiration, whether that be in the form of a couple’s card game, a new toy, or a fun outfit. As long as you establish that there is no pressure to use these gifts immediately, or at all, this could be a great way to keep your sex exciting whilst also treating one another to something special.

Day 3: Barely-Covered Countdown

An advent calendar with an adult twist - take the meaning of ‘anticipation’ to a whole new level with a calendar full of sensual photos. These can be as PG or as NSFW as you feel comfortable sharing; ultimately, it demonstrates that you trust your partner, and allows you the perfect chance to celebrate yourself and your body, and be celebrated in response.

Day 4: Wrapped with a Ribbon and Tied in a Bow

Introduce the art of restraint by incorporating festive ribbons or silk scarves into your intimacy. Beginners might want to experiment with light bondage to play with elements of trust and power, whilst more experienced couples might want to step it up even further by experimenting with shibari.

 

Shibari is a form of Japanese rope bondage that involves creating intricate patterns on the body. Rooted in traditional Japanese martial arts and restraint techniques, shibari has evolved into both an art form and a means of adult play which practitioners often recommend for couples looking to explore dynamics of trust and vulnerability within their relationships. This could be a great way to relieve any holiday anxieties and celebrate your couple’s connection in a visually beautiful way.

Day 5: Bedtime Stories

A 2018 study by OMGYes and The Kinsey Institute found that 90% of women used ‘mental framing’ (their imaginations) in order to increase their pleasure. This has been reflected in a recent shift away from video porn and towards porn which allowed for a little more personalisation, such as audio and literature.

 

A hugely underrated form of foreplay, reading erotica to your partner could be the steamy addition you never knew you needed. If you’re unsure of where to start, try browsing BookTok for some spicy suggestions. Try noticing which extracts turn you and your partner on most, and maybe even consider introducing them into your own play.

Day 6: Alexa, play ‘Mistletoe’ by Justin Bieber

Hang mistletoe strategically around your space, turning the tradition into an invitation for intimacy. Every time you find yourselves under the mistletoe, set a rule to follow, whether that’s a cuddle, a compliment, or something slightly cheekier. It sounds simple, but physical prompts for casual intimacy can be the perfect reminder to reconnect. 

Day 7: Candlelit Massage

For many people, arousal happens most easily and most intensely within specific settings and environments, typically ones which encourage calm and relaxation. If this is the case for yourself or your partner, you might want to try setting the mood, lighting up a cinnamon spiced candle, and treating your partner to a sensual massage. Everyone enjoys feeling pampered - check in with your partner to see which areas of their body require the most attention, and treat them to an evening of physical intimacy that extends beyond just sex.

Day 8: Baby, It’s Cold Inside

Another underrated offshoot of BDSM, temperature play typically involves using sensory toys and objects to heighten sensations and intensify pleasure. Try placing an ice cube in your mouth and dragging it across your partner's skin, or using hot oils to give them a steamy massage. Dipping into the world of temperature play can unlock a new approach to foreplay for many couples, and is accessible to all kinds of couples from toy collectors to complete novices.

Day 9: Games Night

Forget family feuds over a Christmas Day game of monopoly; on day nine, try inventing your own holiday tradition with a sexy games night (clothing optional). Spicy games offer a provocative twist to traditional card-playing, transforming an ordinary deck into a tool for intimate exploration. These games often feature suggestive prompts, dares, or challenges that encourage players to embrace their sensuality and confess desires which may have otherwise stayed hidden. Whether it's a steamy version of strip poker, a deck filled with intimate questions, or a game that combines strategy with seduction, sexy card games give couples a chance to break away from their routine and gamify their intimacy.

Day 10:XXX-mas Dinner

Sit down to a dinner designed to target both your taste buds and your hormones by sharing a selection of aphrodisiacs. Aphrodisiacs have long been used to boost arousal, and can be easily incorporated into any meal; these include oysters, chocolate, strawberries, avocado, honey, figs, almonds, ginseng and vanilla. Whether you're planning a romantic evening for two or a sensual experience for one, experimenting with these ingredients might just be the recipe for an unforgettable night.

Day 11: Christmas Eve Exhibitionism

Exhibitionism is a kink or fetish that involves finding arousal in being watched while engaging in sexual behavior. On Christmas Eve, try teasing your partner by allowing them to watch you pleasure yourself without allowing them to touch you. Many exhibitionists find this to be an empowering celebration of their own sexuality - what better way to step into Christmas?

Day 12: Reflections

When engaging in any kind of new sexual activity, it’s always important to reflect on what you’ve experienced and how you feel about it. Use your twelfth and final day of kinkmas to reconnect with yourself and your partner through an honest conversation about what you liked, what you maybe didn’t like, and how you can use these new experiences going forward.

 

 

Whilst framing your sexploration as a ‘Twelve Days of Kinkmas’ re-emphasizes sex as something playful and exciting, it also works on a more meaningful level. This twelve-day process encourages you to reconnect with your partner and prioritize communication in what can often be a stressful period, as well as giving you a good excuse to just feel good.

 

Merry Kinkmas, ya filthy animals.

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